The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida Review

This Way of the Superior Man is a good book that I think every man should read.

What does it mean to be a man? Are men becoming weak?

You can get a copy on Amazon, (#Sponsored link)

What kind of book is it? It’s a self help book that covers: Masculinity, intimacy, man-woman relationships.

In The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida explores the most important issues in men’s lives, from career and family to women and intimacy to love and spirituality, to offer a practical guidebook for living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom.

I’m going to introduce a summary / review of book with some quotes

Contents

1 Book Chapters

1.1 Part One: A Man’s Way

1.2 Part Two: Dealing with Women

1.3 Part Three: Working with Polarity and Energy

1.4 Part Four: What Women Really Want

1.5 Part Five: Your Dark Side

1.6 Part Six: Feminine Attractiveness

1.7 Part Seven: Body Practices

1.8 Part Eight: Men’s and Women’s Yoga of Intimacy

2 Book Summary

3 Some quotes from the book:

4 If, by Rudyard Kipling, Read by Michael Caine

5 Society Needs More Tough Guys

6 Recommended Similar Books for Men:

Book Chapters

There are 51 Chapters

Part One: A Man’s Way

1 Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life
2 Live With an Open Heart Even If It Hurts
3 Live As If Your Father Were Dead
4 Know Your Real Edge and Don’t Fake It
5 Always Hold To Your Deepest Realization
6 Never Change Your Mind Just to Please a Woman
7 Your Purpose Must Come Before Your Relationship
8 Lean Just Beyond Your Edge
9 Do It for Love
10 Enjoy Your Friends’ Criticism
11 If You Don’t Know Your Purpose, Discover It, Now
12 Be Willing To Change Everything in Your Life
13 Don’t Use Your Family As an Excuse
14 Don’t Get Lost in Tasks and Duties
15 Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier

Part Two: Dealing with Women

16 Women Are Not Liars
17 Praise Her
18 Tolerating Her Leads to Resenting Her
19 Don’t Analyze Your Woman
20 Don’t Suggest That a Woman Fix Her Own Emotional Problem
21 Stay With Her Intensity––To a Point
22 Don’t Force the Feminine to Make Decisions

Part Three: Working with Polarity and Energy

23 Your Attraction to the Feminine Is Inevitable
24 Choose a Woman Who Is Your Complementary Opposite
25 Know What Is Important in Your Woman
26 You Will Often Want More Than One Woman
27 Young Women Offer You a Special Energy
28 Each Woman Has a “Temperature” That Can Heal or Irritate You

Part Four: What Women Really Want

29 Choose a Woman Who Chooses You
30 What She Wants Is Not What She Says
31 Her Complaint Is Content-Free
32 She Doesn’t Really Want to Be Number One
33 Your Excellent Track Record Is Meaningless to Her
34 She Wants to Relax in the Demonstration of Your Direction

Part Five: Your Dark Side

35 You Are Always Searching for Freedom
36 Own Your Darkest Desires
37 She Wants the “Killer” in You
38 She Needs Your Consciousness to Match Her Energy

Part Six: Feminine Attractiveness

39 The Feminine is Abundant
40 Allow Older Women Their Magic
41 Turn Your Lust Into Gifts
42 Never Allow Your Desire to Become Suppressed or Depolarized
43 Use Her Attractiveness as a Slingshot Through Appearance

Part Seven: Body Practices

44 Ejaculation Should Be Converted or Consciously Chosen
45 Breathe Down the Front
46 Ejaculate Up the Spine

Part Eight: Men’s and Women’s Yoga of Intimacy

47 Take into Account the Primary Asymmetry
48 You Are Responsible for the Growth in Intimacy
49 Insist on Practice and Growth
50 Restore Your Purpose in Solitude and with Other Men
51 Practice Dissolving

Book Summary

Some quotes from the book:

Imagine our tribal ancestors sitting in a field somewhere with the sun setting.
One of them starts rounding everyone together and points toward the forest in the distance:

“Listen everyone its going to be dark soon! We’re going over there to chop down those trees and then build a fire!
I’ll take our strongest & fastest to hunt some deer after that! Any questions?”

His energy is literally shouting “I know what to do! Follow me! Nothing can stop us!”

If he does anything to compromise that energy he’s undermining his own core.
Which weakens his image ie. integrity, respect & trust from others
No one wants to follow a coward into the dark.

Being overtly lazy, gossiping, arguing and getting distracted
versus being totally open, present, passionate & loving.

Imagine this man fighting with his women on the way to chop down the trees
versus comforting her with the sheer confidence of his purpose.

His purpose comes his core. A core that is full of strength, courage & an unstoppable love for everyone.

“Stop waiting. Feel everything. Love achingly. Give impeccably. Let go.”

“Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. They think, “If I can work enough, then one day I could rest.” Or, “One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining.” Or, “I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.” The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won’t. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.”

“It’s never going to be over, so stop waiting for the good stuff. As of now, spend a minimum of one hour a day doing whatever you are waiting to do until your finances are more secure, or until the children have grown and left home, or until you have finished your obligations and you feel free to do what you really want to do. Don’t wait any longer. Don’t believe in the myth of “one day when everything will be different.” Do what you love to do, what you are waiting to do, what you’ve been born to do, now.”

“The feminine always seems chaotic and complicated from the perspective of the masculine.”

“Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women. Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today. Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.”

“If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.”

“Admit to yourself that if you had to choose one or the other, the perfect intimate relationship or achieving your highest purpose in life, you would choose to succeed at your purpose. Just this self-knowledge often relieves much pressure a man feels to prioritize his relationship when, in fact, it is not his highest priority.”

“Few men are willing to give their deepest genius, their true endowment, the poetry of their very being, with every thrust of sex and life. Most men are limpened with doubts and uncertainties. Or they hold back their true drive because of fear. So they diddle their woman and the world just enough to extract the pleasure and comfort they need to assuage their nagging sense of falsity and incompleteness.”

“Good friends should not tolerate mediocrity in one another. If you are at your edge, your men friends should respect that, but not let you off the hook. They should honor your fears, and, in love, continue to goad you beyond them, without pushing you.”

“Choose men friends who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from the necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves.”

“The superior man is not seeking for fulfillment through work and woman, because he is already full. For him, work and intimacy are opportunities to give his gifts, and be vanished in the bliss of the giving.”

“Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, and useless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.”

“Whereas many women waste precious time swirling in emotional currents and eddies, many men waste their birth seeking the completion of tasks. Nose to the grindstone, day after day, year after year, and you become a robot of duty. Rather, raise your eyes, see to the horizon, and do your tasks in the spirit of sweeping out your house on a sunny day.”

“The masculine grows by challenge, but the feminine grows by praise. A man must be unabashed and expressed in his appreciation for his woman. Praise her freely…Praise motivates. Challenge doesn’t. Try it. Praise specific things you love about your woman 5 to 10 times a day. Find out what happens.”

“Instead of tolerating your woman’s moods of closure and complaint, open her moods with your skillful loving. It is your gift to give. Both of you will grow more by your giving than by your tolerating. A superior man sees his woman’s moods not as a curse, but as a challenge and an amusement. There are many ways to creatively deal with her moods and help her to open. Tickle her. Take off your clothes and dance the watusi. Sing opera for her. Make animal sounds. Shout at her louder than you ever have and then kiss her passionately. Press your belly into her until she melts. Lift her off the ground and spin her around. Occasionally, talking with her helps, but not as often as humor and physically expressed love.”

“The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her your love—the same love that is motivating your questioning—immediately and unmistakably. Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her, tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her, and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate. She may still have some situation to deal with, and you may be able to help her with that, but the emotional aspect will be converted to love.”

“[Getting to do anything they want] is exactly the opposite of most women’s idea of an ideal birthday present. Most women would get far more excited if you were to say, “You’ve got 30 minutes to pack your bags. Don’t ask me where we’re going, but we’ll be gone for the weekend. Everything is taken care of. Just pack your bags, and leave the rest to me. I’m going to give you the best birthday you’ve ever had.”